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Ballerina (2025)
It’s a John Wick spinoff that tests whether or not the franchise can extend itself without John Wick. Then the producers got a little nervous and re-shot the movie extensively, adding extra John Wick (Keanu Reeves) scenes and even a clunky title to remind all those forgetful viewers: From the World of John Wick: Ballerina (not to be confused with, From the World of Jurassic World). Taking place between Wicks 3 and 4, Ballerina follows another formidable assassin kill lots of people until finally toppling a boss at the top and fulfilling their personal vengeance. The aforementioned dancer is Eve (Ana de Armas) who is the daughter of assassins and whose father was killed by assassins so she trains to be an assassin and thus kill the assassins that assassinated her father for wanting to step away from being an assassin. The plot is less important than the action combat, and while Ballerina doesn’t rise to the rhapsodic levels of action nirvana from its franchise forebears, it does have consistently entertaining action choreography and development. It’s a good movie with a few moments of greatness, like a kitchen battle that makes clever use of everything in range and a climactic flamethrower vs. water hose battle for the ages. I enjoy that Eve is still vulnerable. She’s deadly but she still makes mistakes, can slip and fall and make the wrong moves in fights, providing the sequences better stakes and intrigue over how she exactly will overcome her latest obstacles. de Armas (Blonde) takes up where she left off in 2021’s No Time to Die and proves herself an adept physical performer of action. It’s a decent mid-tie action movie that throws more world-building nonsense at the wall that you can tune out. There are other Wick cameos from Ian McShane, Angelica Huston, and the late Lance Reddick who died in 2023. Ballerina can scratch that John Wick itch (now with extra John Wick) for fans but I don’t know if it deserves a second dance.
Nate’s Grade: B-
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Total Recall (2012)
The latest needless remake takes the basic elements of 1990’s Total Recall and streamlines them into one very long chase sequence. And for those concerned males, the three-boobed lady makes a triumphant reappearance, because surely the movie wouldn’t be the same without her. Though in the age of the Internet, the sight of a three-boobed woman seems less indelible to impressionable male minds. But I digress. I was ready to dismiss this as another soulless Hollywood remake. Then I found myself enjoying Total Recall, and even the stuff that was dumb I had to also admit was cool. Take for instance a commute that goes through the center of the Earth. How exactly could such a thing be built? What does one do for maintenance? How does this not affect the Earth’s rotation? But then I forgot all about it because, in pure movie terms, it was cool. The zero gravity change-up as the transport changes directions at the core – cool. The fact that we get a zero gravity action sequence in this environment – cool. The fact that this transport system becomes a conduit for an invasion – cool. The plot mechanics are all familiar, notably the memory wipes and the super spy histories, but I didn’t care because the movie rarely lets its foot off the gas. When this thing starts, it doesn’t let up. The chase sequences are well executed amidst an imaginative array of locations, from a flying highway to a series of hanging housing developments. It’s not terribly smart but Total Recall is an entertaining escapist thriller that delivers some robust action and enough imagination in its future settings. Plus, there’s a woman with three boobs in it.
Nate’s Grade: B
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