Is Amazon’s $250 million holiday adventure the harbinger of doom for modern movies as many alarmist film critics have claimed? No. Is it the next great Christmas classic? No. It’s a thoroughly mediocre holiday action movie borrowing heavily from the familiar Marvel movie formula; it strains very hard to be a breezy spectacle and a buddy comedy. There’s a fun concept here about Santa Claus (a buff J.K. Simmons) being kidnapped, but the focus is on the wrong characters. The best segment of Red One is when we’re introduced to Santa’s cranky brother, Krampus (Kristofer Hiivju), a half-demon half-goat creature with excellent practical makeup application and design. The movie feels dangerous and finally intriguing with their history, and it’s here that I realized the best version of Red One would have been one where Santa AND Krampus, two feuding brothers with very different perspectives on how to handle the naughty, are forced to work together to escape their holiday hostage-takers. Alas, the characters we get are The Rock playing a minor variation on the character archetype he’s been grinding into dust for a decade, and Chris Evans as a cynical adult super hacker who needs to learn the true meaning of Christmas. The inclusion of Evans’ character is flimsy and he’s far too annoying to offset whatever advantages he might provide to Santa’s extraction team. The fantasy elements and lore can be fun, like an abominable snowman fight in the tropics, but too many of these elements feel underdeveloped, like the Rock growing big and small for… reasons. Just like how our villain wants to teach the world a lesson in terror… that can be broken by self-reflective apologies. It’s a movie consumed by its many influences. Red One isn’t exactly for little kids, isn’t exactly for adults, and isn’t exactly for teenagers, so who is this for? It’s destined to play in the background and be ignored while holiday naps are had, and to that end, Red One succeeds. 

Nate’s Grade: C